


Growing Pains

by waterfallliam



Category: Yellowstone (TV 2018)
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Missing Scene, Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:53:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25578370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waterfallliam/pseuds/waterfallliam
Summary: “If no one’s ever told you, how were you to know?” Ryan says, as gentle as he can.
Relationships: Jimmy Hurdstrom & Ryan (Yellowstone)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 27





	Growing Pains

Jimmy is sitting out back of the bunkhouse, jeans crumpled by his feet. The others are all inside, telling stories and arguing about what card game to play. The well accustomed exhaustion from a hard day’s work burns down to Ryan’s bones, but there's a tiredness behind his eyes that makes him seek out the quiet of the valley instead of the laughter of his friends. And then there’s Jimmy, equally quiet and hunched in on himself.

He approaches Jimmy like he would a nervous horse. Slowly, and making plenty of noise so Jimmy knows he’s coming. Lloyd’s usually the one to help him out, and Rip when shit hits the fan, but he’s been quieter than usual these past few days; quiet in a way that’s hard to pick up on unless you’re somewhat quiet yourself.

Jimmy turns his head, shoulders tense until he recognises Ryan. He doesn’t say a word as Ryan carefully moves his sad excuse for a hat onto the table and sets himself down on the chair instead.

Getting a closer look at Jimmy, Ryan realises what the problem is. Splotches of red cord up the inside of Jimmy’s thighs, blistering and angry.

“You know,” Ryan clasps his hands and pointedly doesn’t look at Jimmy, “there’s more to being a cowboy than riding and roping and looking the part.”

Jimmy doesn’t reply, but Ryan feels his attention shift from the dips and peaks of the valley’s forest. He doesn’t know why Jimmy came to be at the ranch, and he doesn’t much care to. If it was important Rip would tell him. Most days he barely thinks of his own reasons. A cowboy’s a cowboy, even if he’s a poor one with a lot of learning ahead of him. Jimmy has the brand, meaning he doesn’t have much choice in the matter anyway. He’s already family. But it doesn’t mean it has to be quite so hard.

“That being said, proper equipment’s valuable.” Lloyd really should have taken care of this, or Rip. But they’ve been busy with the new hire. Doesn’t help that Jimmy chooses this to stay quiet about. “Proper jeans have a smooth inseam along the thighs.”

Ryan traces a line down inside of his own thigh to his knee, his nails threatening to catch on the stitching, but against the meat of his leg the fabric is smooth, no chafing. Jimmy’s gaze follows his finger, then he ducks his head, embarrassed. Jimmy can be excitable and mouthy, especially when confident, but right now Ryan suspects he feels lost and alone. He could use some help, more than Colby ever had when he’d arrived. Colby had needed it, accepted it, and then hadn’t needed anything more than friendship from Ryan. What Ryan needs, well…

“If no one’s ever told you, how were you to know?” Ryan says, as gentle as he can.

There’s muffled laughter from the bunkhouse. Jimmy sucks in a deep breath before he speaks again. “I thought it was all part of, you know.”

Jimmy looks more vulnerable than usual, and he usually looks as if he might fall off his horse and get ridden over. Life on the saddle can be hard and unforgiving, but that makes its small kindnesses all the more valuable.

“I know just the thing.”

Ryan pops back inside, smiling at the group but not letting himself get sucked in as he retrieves a pot of cream from the small chest by his and Colby’s bunk. Unbidden, the thought comes that if he ever leaves, it’s something he’ll have to leave behind. It’s been years since Ryan has seriously thought about leaving one day. This place has replaced the marrow in his bones; it’s more than the air he breathes, it’s in his very cells, his lifeblood. He slips out a shirt, too, to hide the pot.

“Getting cold, old man,” Colby teases and Ryan waves him off good naturedly.

Outside he puts his shirt beside Jimmy’s hat and sits again. “This’ll help. Ask Rip about getting some pants.”

Jimmy reaches for the pot, but fumbles it, fingers shaking. How Jimmy manages to get through the day Ryan doesn’t know. “Guess I’m still getting used to the reins.”

“I’ll do it,” Ryan sighs, all pretence.

He pulls his chair closer and goes slowly, trying to keep his touch light but the spread even. Jimmy’s skin is sore, all red-pink and burning. He starts up high, starting with the worst. Best to face things head on, he thinks.

Jimmy looks away as he applies the cream, flushing with embarrassment again. Ryan is quick and methodical, careful to catch the edges and patting Jimmy’s knee lightly before doing the other leg. It’s the defining thing about human nature, their shared reliance on others. He finishes, wiping the excess cream off on his own arm and withdrawing.

“Feels better,” Jimmy says hesitantly. “Thanks.”

“Good. Keep it until the new skin feels alright.” He sets the pot by Jimmy’s hat and pulls his shirt on, familiar and soft.

They look out at the valley in silence. Ryan can’t ever imagine walking away from this all this without the intention of returning. He suspects that no one on the ranch ever really leaves this place, not truly. They belong to it, not it to them, however much they take from each other. Ryan has been here long enough to tell himself he’s forgotten that he ever came from anywhere or anything else.


End file.
